Need and Want

need and want

she was
walking up and down the aisle,
looking bewildered.
can I help you with anything? I asked her.
no! she said. I don’t need YOUR help
thank you very much!
I held my hands up in defeat
and went back to stacking shelves ...
when I was done
I started wheeling my empty stock cage
towards the warehouse ...
hey! I heard her call out behind me.
I want some service now!
put I didn’t want to help her now,
so I pushed my cage
around the aforementioned corner
you know,
as her resultant yelling
followed?
yeah.

the riveting adventures of A and B and even me

I was serving customer A.

customer B came in and said: someone’s lying down out there!
a homeless! just lying there, in the bleedin kerb!

ok, I said.

well? aren’t you gonna do something?

I’m kind of busy right now, I told him.

don’t get distracted, customer A said. you’ll scan something twice.

did you hear what I just said? customer B said to me. I said
someone is lying down out there, possibly dead!

yeah, and I’m busy! I told him.

don’t get distracted! customer A said. you’ll scan something twice!

might of known! said customer B. you companies are all the same!
I’ll be tweetin this! he says, looking at my name badge: “paul”!
then walks back out, scribbling on his phone screen ...

I carry on serving customer A.

I’m serious, he warns me. you better not have scanned anything twice.

or what? I ask.

the riveting adventures of A and B and even me

I was serving customer A.

customer B came in and said: someone’s lying down out there!
a homeless! just lying there, in the bleedin kerb!

ok, I said.

well? aren’t you gonna do something?

I’m kind of busy right now, I told him.

don’t get distracted, customer A said. you’ll scan something twice.

did you hear what I just said? customer B said to me. I said
someone is lying down out there, possibly dead!

yeah, and I’m busy! I told him.

don’t get distracted! customer A said. you’ll scan something twice!

might of known! said customer B. you companies are all the same!
I’ll be tweetin this! he says, looking at my name badge: “paul”!
then walks back out, scribbling on his phone screen ...

I carry on serving customer A.

I’m serious, he warns me. you better not have scanned anything twice.

or what? I ask

disciplined

as I sign a form
agreeing to a customer’s charge
that I’m “arrogant”
(because I dared to tell her to stop touching me)
I have to concede:
it could be worse.


I could be in London
getting knifed for the pennies in the till.
or I could be in America,
having my head blown off
for looking at a customer wrong way.
better this passive-aggressive bullshit
from insecure little-englanders, I suppose.

but one thing’s for sure:
me and my fellow customer service workers,
be we running a stall in Tunisia
or stacking the shelves of a supermarket in England,
we must have the most important job in the world
to be held to such high standards
(emotionally validating every member of the public)

and paying us minimum wage to do it
makes total sense:
can you imagine how arrogant we’d be
if our pay reflected such importance?

you can’t put a price on that,
can you?

and yet ...